Back at home... sweet, sweet HOME

Well, I am back early! Due to a string of very stressful, but in the end furtunate, events I am back home :)
The last few days in Durban were enjoyable, with the group spending a lot of time together and trying to see any last minute things. We took a tour of the city, looking at the pollution problems. About a month ago, they found out that in one area, chromium had leaked into the drinking water. Now there are stations set up that will check your blook for chromium for free, to see if you have been affected. We also saw the oil streams, leading into the ocean (a horrible sight to see) from the factories nearby. Shola was giving us the tour, and she explained that there is only 1 environmental activist group in Durban... they try very hard, but environmental activism is for the most part a joke, in many peoples' eyes. We were able to go to the Gateway mall after the tour on Thursday; this mall is the largest in the southern hemisphere!! Apparently there was rock climbing and amusement rides inside, but I spent most of the time having a leasurely lunch with my friend Eve (we had a great time!!). On Friday we had a wrap up meeting and then went to the Botanical gardens. The gardens were HUGE and despite all of the beauty that was around us, we spent the majority of our time on the sun deck. Why? Well, there were beams and poles all over the sun deck... for climbing of course. haha. OK, maybe that wasn't the intended purpose... but we had a blast. I was in my glory, climbing the poles... it was pure joy. Anyhow, after we left the botanical gardens, we made our way home. Janet and I decided to check out a live jazz performance, but when we got there, we discovered that the jazz wouldn't we playing that night. We sat and had a chat with the waiters that were "working" and we really enjoyed ourselves. We had some great conversation, talking about Canada and South Africa. One of them was an aspiring jazz musician and the other was in engineering. The most interesting thing that emerged from the conversation was a discussion on HIV/AIDS and sexual promiscuity. The 2 men said that it was expected for males to sleep with as many women as possible, because anything else would make them appear "strange/ dysfunctional/ hopeless"... they went on to say that the risk of HIV/AIDS won't change this mentality. In fact, it will not even change the desire to have sex without a condom. The reason for this, they said, is that "for us, it's not a matter of preventing HIV; it's like this: you see how long a guy can go on for without getting it... like, how long can he survive without HIV... almost everyone will get it." I was sad to hear them talk like this, and even though this is only the commentary of 2 guys living there, I think it represents the mentality of too many people. The prevalence rate of HIV in South Africa is supposed to be between 20 and 25%, but as several doctors have indicated, the prevalence in the black population is MUCH higher. In the rural regions, one doctor estimated that it was more like 80% or more. The waiters commented on this by saying that people who are unemployed get bored... they said that men get to the point where all they think about is sex, and that is what they get. They also said "nothing is going to change that... the mentality to have sex all the time, with as many women as possible, won't change." I'm sure some people would disagree with these guys, but I am also sure that many would agree.
It was sad to end my trip in South Africa, but I was also eager to get home. On the way home, when I was leaving the Durban airport, I found out that my flight had been changed in the computer, to leave London immediately after I arrived. I wasn't sure how that happened, as it was originally scheduled for Sunday night. When I finally decided to go with that flight, and check my bags through to Canada, I found out that the flight was not approved and they could only check my bags to johannesburg. To make a long story short, I found out that they could not sort anything out in Durban, but I was assured that they could fix everything in Joburg. When I finally got to joburg, I had to pick up my luggage, figure out my flight to london, and recheck the bags and myself. Unfortuately, time was a bit short, and if I didn't figure out the flight from london before I got into the air, there was no guarentee that I could get to Canada before I left for El Salvador!!!!! I was pressed for time and I needed to find an air Canada representative (which they told me I would find in Joburg, but of course I did not, as Air Canada does not have flights to South Africa). I was sent from place to place to try and find the right person who could sort this out. Unfortunately, the staff at this airport is VERY unhelpful (something that I had heard, but was not familiar with until now) and it seemed that no one understood my dilema or where I was going. I felt so alone, stressed about the time, and frustrated about the misunderstandings. Suddenly a man asked me if he could help (in perfect English, understanding that I was in a mess) and I just burst into tears. Even longer story short, he helped me figure things out and made me feel better. His flight had been delayed 3 hours, so he spend an hour with me trying to get things sorted out. I can't tell you how much I needed him to help me at that point; I was so lost and confused. To be honest, a lot of things had gone wrong up to that point... the past few days had thrown a LOT of curve balls at me... as I was waiting in the line to check my bags, I thought about all of the things that had gone wrong and I was overwhelmed with guilt... each time something had happened, someone was there to help me. I felt guilty because so many people had spent so much time helping me... just me... not saving lives, not working for a greater cause, but just spending their time and energy helping me and solving my problems. I felt like in the way of spreading God's love, I had soaked up so much of it, and given none back. I felt like I was draining the pool of resources... using up all this kindness all because I was having a stroke of bad luck. In Cape town, a man and his wife helped me when I lost my friends and was all alone in a festival; in the mall, the man working at the camera store helped me to sort out some problems with my camera (and my stress level :S... we didn't fix the camera, but I sure felt better); people were helping we everywhere I went and I felt overwhelmed. As I borded the plane for London, feeling much better thanks to Laurence, I still felt so guilty. I wanted to feel something else, but I couldn't. I prayed to change my outlook on everything that had happend. Finally I started to realize that I had been showered with grace. Not just showered, but bathed... maybe even drowned. I had been shown so much grace that I felt suffocated by my own neediness. I feel overwhelmed frequently, by the grace of God in my life. We don't deserve the grace that He shows us in all of our weakness and sin, but He pours it over us constantly. I rarely feel guilty about His grace... maybe it is because I am so familiar with His promises and know that he has infinite wisdom, energy, strength, compassion, and understanding. However, I was experiencing more than God's grace; I was experiencing the grace of His children. In this fallen, broken, and painful world, it's easy to see that unlike God, the world doesn't seem to have an unlimited supply of any of the qualities that I listed. I felt like I was using up a limited supply. I know that I didn't deserve any of the kindness that was shown to me by complete strangers, but that's the beauty of grace: it's undeserved. Grace from God is underserved, but grace from the world is not only underserved, but unexpected. I have never been saved by so many people, in such a short time. I sat on the airplane in total dibelief of the past few days. I usually try to live with the goal of giving, not of receiving... but I had spent so much time just taking it all in... soaking up all the grace that came my way. I'm still in awe of the people I met; still with mixed emotions of joy and guilt. I learned something so important. I learned how much I need God's people. I have always acknowledged the need for God; He sustains me and is behind all of my goals and desires. I have also acknowleged the need to worship with His people, and the need to help His people. Now, however, I understand how much I need the grace that lives in his CREATION and the kindness of the people around me. I am so thankful for all of the stangers that helped me during the week and I am so happy to be the recipient of so much kindness. I am home, I am safe, and I have been given more kindness than I could have ever asked for.